Pardo Nightwalker (pardouncia) wrote,
Pardo Nightwalker
pardouncia

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Complacency

I've had a cold or somesuch for near a week now. I'm tired of it. I've had several colds and two sinus infections(bacterial requiring antibiotics) this year, since January. I had a three day weekend, which I'd hoped to use well, but being under the weather found rather wasted. I've been in a rather depressive state.

Part of this is due to my computer, which I bought in October of 2005, going up in smoke about a month ago now. The power supply fried, and took the motherboard with it. I had hope that the hard drives survived, and by what everyone told me, they usually do. So I ordered a new computer from AVA direct, and it's taken a while to get her. The three day weekend means it won't arrive until tomorrow, or Tuesday the 7th. Today I willed myself to be constructive and pulled the hard drives from the dead computer. I purchased an external SATA drive enclosure to hold the C drive so I could get data off of it. I was figuring I'd just put the F drive into the computer itself. I just feared OS conflicts, XP and Windows 7. Though everyone kept telling me SATA would not allow the old OS drive to have priority.

Anyway, as I cleaned the dust off the drives to prepare for tomorrow, I discovered something. The circuit boards you see when you turn a hard drive upside down were fried. There are scorch marks. My only hope for recovery would be a data recovery company, which is going too far. I haven't the money. Besides, these are my personal files and so forth. I'm a very personal, private person. I don't like people to see my stuff. My computer is like an archive of my life, a broad-spectrum journal.

So I've lost everything from the past 5 years. I'm on my previous computer, which holds most of my data from all those years back. Though so much has happened in the past 5 years that I can't get back now. All the videos I've captured from my DV camcorder. All the pictures from family and vacations for 5 years. I know I should've backed up.

I wish I'd have backed up. I became complacent. I should have used an external hard drive or something. But now it's gone, all gone. My Forefox tabs, my bookmarks, my Outlook emails. So many years' worth. I can't even face it right now.

And I'm still sick, though slowly feeling better. I go back to work tomorrow. There's a lot of stress right now, even if none of this was happening.

I know complacency isn't healthy, but I wish I didn't have to pay such a high price. It's like having your house burn down. You can never get what you lost back. It's just gone... I'm beyond upset. I can't even really think about it. It doesn't fully register...
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